LOSING A PART OF ME: MY STORY

So I am sitting here beside him; the love of my life, but I am so confused and scared to the bones about our future. He is right for taking the realistic stance about the whole drama but I can't bring myself to be realistic at the moment.
Sorry I didn't say my name, I am Ofure Ominiabos and I think I am about to lose a part of me.

I met Dami at a conference held for medical practitioners in Port-Harcourt. At first, I never took notice of him not until he mistakenly stepped on my foot while trying to get registered like the rest of us present there.

I was about to give who ever had stepped on me a piece of my mind when I looked up and met a very "handsome-sorry" face staring right at me. I couldn't help but smile and let go. After the registrations I walked up to my assigned room to prepare for the first lecture.

Arriving the lecture hall, I took a sit, somewhere close to the door so I could easily slip out if I wanted to. Someone came right up to sit with me. I turned to see who and lo, it was him.

"Hi I am Dami, the jerk who stepped on you earlier" he said with a smile.

I swear I have never been so drawn to a smile before but his, captured my attention. I didnt hestitate in giving him my contact when he asked. For the rest of the conference, we were seat buddies. From seat buddies at a conference, we evolved into an item.

Dami showed me so much love that I was never aware anyone could. Although it was a distant relationship, we always found a way around it. I fell hopelessly inlove with him, I just couldn't help it. Three years  into the relationship, he felt it was time his parents knew about me since his siblings already did.

I was so excited about stepping into a new stage in life with him. On the said day, I dressed my best like I was going to see my pastor (lol). Stepping into his family house, I was welcomed with a warm hug from his mum and a smile from his dad. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

My happiness was however short lived when I began to answer some subtle questions about myself.

"What did you say your mum's name is again?" Dami's father Chief Otunba asked.

"Regina Ominiabos sir" I answered cheerfully.

"And she is a nurse?"

"Yes sir"

"She lived in Kano during her younger years?"

"Yes sir, how did you know?" I innocently asked.
A question I never knew had the power to ruffle my calm life.

Two days after meeting his parents, Dami called me crying and saying he was sorry. I wondered why he was crying and asked to meet so we could talk.
Now here we are, he is sitting beside me telling me things that are about to drive me mad!  How can I be his Sister?! How?! I am urohobo he is a yoruba.

Chief said he is my father. He said he had an affair with my mum back in the day and as soon as I was concieved, his wife found out about the affair and demanded he put an end to it which he did.

But how can that be when my mum told me my dad died some months before I was born, how?!

Dami wants us to end the relationship. He says its the realistic thing to do. But I can't for the life of me let him go.

HELP I AM ABOUT TO LOSE A PART OF ME!

IS:THE PROTECTOR

"Everything in here seems so uninteresting!  So bland!  The walls painted in a measly bright yellow, which really in her own opinion was very sickening!
   She had to leave this place she really had to".....Sandy thought to herself as she fiddled with her hair while looking around the relaxation hall with so much disgust.
     
  Why had she even signed herself into this hellhole?! What in God's name made her walk into this center asking to be incarcerated for a whole 6months.

The facility was obviously meant for loonies,  nutjobs and psychos. Which she definitely wasn't one!  Or was she? .... everything seemed so confusing lately. ..its the drugs they've been feeding me with!  It must be! ....Sandy thought while making funny gestures with her hands.

  Standing up,  she made a move for the Director's office. ..she had been making frequent visits there lately hoping to see if he'lld reason with her and let her go.

Tap!  Tap! ....she knocked
 
  "Yes come in".....came Dr Simmons voice.

Peeping in before taking a step in,  Sandy with closed eyes sucked in the strawberry fragrance that arrested her nostrils...."hmmm!  She liked it in here" .

"Goodday Dr or is it evening already? You know I never seem to know anything this days"....she shrugged while taking a seat.
  
Smiling warmly, Dr Simmons offered her some chocolate bars from the bowl on his desk.
  " So Miss Dike to what do I owe this august visit for the 15th time this week? "
 
  "You know! If you'lld just let me outta this place,  my frequent visits would seize right? ....Sandy said as she munched on one of the bars.

" But I can't let you go just yet? Thats not what we agreed on! Remember the papers you signed when you willingly walked into this centre? "
  
  "Yes I do!  but I  really do not understand why I did that! And this place!  Oh this place is so so sickening!  I want to go back home!  Back to my job! My friends!  and family! ".....

  "You need more time in here! You did so many bad things!  very bad things Sandy. Its either this hellhole or jail and you picked this"

   Now visibly angry Sandy stood with a mouth full of chocolate. ..."Why would I have anything to do with jail Simmon!  Why cant I just go in there pick my stuff and stroll outta this place!
  Why I'm I even debating this when I can actually just do that!  Infact to hell with you Doc!"
 
  "Language Sandy!  language!.....damn!  You have nothing to go back to!  You have no job!  No friends and definitely no family out there!  heck! You have just me Sandy just me!"........Dr Simmon blurted out in anger. He was tired of explaining,  he knew it would be tough to handle her. But he never thought it would be this hard.

   "Simmon thats not true! I have a job; I own a consulting firm which is thriving really well"
     
      "No you don't"

"My family lives at GRA no.16 Badewa street off mobile! "

   "They used to not anymore! You blew them up!  You burnt the whole house to the ground! You killed them Sandy!"

    Blocking her ears with her fingers,  she screamed
    "Lies! You're telling alot of lies Doc!  I did no such thing! I love my family!  I love them!  I loved them..."
  
Think Sandy! How come I know so much about you!  How do I know your favorite colour is black?  How do I know you like your icecream in two flavors(chocolate and strawberry)? If I were lying to you now,  tell me how do I know about your invisible friend or should I say the other you called "IS"? tell me!

   Hearing the name,  she jerked up pulling him by the collar .... " don't call her name!  She doesn't exist! "

"Calm down Sandy!  Calm down!  I'll show you something.  You asked me to show it toyou when ever you got to this level. But I can only do that if you let go of my collar...please!"

    Slowly she let go while looking suspiciously at him.

Adjusting his collar,  he pulled out a brown envelope from the lower part of his drawer and poured the contents out on the desk. Picking the disk,  he took it to the dvd player and inserted it.

   Hi Sandy its me IS I mean you,  me. ...lets not confuse ourselves. If you're watching this now,  then know things got outta hand and that you need to calm down and listen to whatever Simmon your friend and doctor tells you to do.
  A couple of days ago,  I killed alot of people,  people who had hurt you terribly. You were hurting so much inside and I couldn't bear seeing you that way anymore. I did what I had to do to make you happy again.
 
  I killed your family I burnt them all! I made them writhe in pain for not believing you when you told them you had been molested by that pig.

I especially made daddy suffer for calling you a witch and a slut. I could see the horror in his face when he realized he was actually going to die and I was the one pulling the plug!  *laughter*

  "Stop the video Simmon!  Stop it!  Thats not me!  I'm not a monster!" ....Sandy closed her ears amidst tears.

"Rev. Bennett wouldn't stop crying you know!  I chopped off his "little junior" after I told him to come teach the "finger and no pants trick" he always loved to teach us when we were just six years old and he refused!  Can you believe that man?

Anyway I'm guessing its cos we're no longer six anymore. My best part was when I fed him with it!
  Chopping his legs was also fun too and the eyes!  Yes the eyes!
 
You're free now Sandy!  I kept my promise to take care of you. Dr Simmon's centre will be good for you even though I do not agree with his methods.
   Stay with him and heal. I love you!  "IS" loves you!  And I'll always be here for you."

   Dr Simmon walked across the room and put the tv off.

  "Here are some photos if you still think I probably forced you to make that video of yourself"..... handing her a couple of pictures.

She looked at the pictures and images started to flood back...

every strike she made on the Reverend's body,   the blood,   
  the smell of burnt flesh from her parents house and oh!  the screaming! God!  How she had loved it!
   Shaking her head in disgust,  Sandy threw the pictures on the ground and moved to farther corner of the room where she sat on the floor cupping her knees and hiding her face.
 
  "I'm not a monster!  I'm not a monster!  I killed no one!  My family is alive!"

Moving closer to her,  Simmon cautiously placed his hand on her back as he tried to pacify her.
 
"Sandy its alright..you'll be fine. You suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder,  but its nothing we can't handle here. You're safe with me here I promise you!"

Lifting her head,  she gave the Doctor a cold and sinister Smile...

"Hi Doc!  Its been a long time. I really do not know why she keeps locking me in. "IS" is a genius IS is her protector!"

    I'm not sorry I killed them! I am IS!

IN NIGERIA ALONE,  ONE IN  EVERY FOUR GIRLS GET MOLESTED AT AN EARLY AGE  BY SIGNIFICANT MALE FIGURES AROUND THEIR ENVIRONMENT AND SADLY,  THEY ARE TOO SCARED TO SPEAK OUT COS OF THE STIGMA AND MAINLY BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID THAT THEIR LOVED ONES WOULD NEVER BELIEVE THEM OR EVEN GET PUNISHED FOR ALLOWING THEMSELVES TO BE MOLESTED. THIS LEAVES MOST OF THEM PSYCHOLOGICALLY SCARRED FOR LIFE.

HELP THE GIRL CHILD, BELIEVE THEM!
RAPE IS EVIL!
SAY NO TO CHILD MOLESTATION!

   

 

 

Time! Make It Count!

  "I cant take any break from work at the moment babes!  things at the office are so tight now, you of all people should know that Chidaalu!".....Ayodeji said as he forked through his hair with his fingers in frustration.
  "Deji don't tell me that!, you're a top ranking officer,  you could delegate people to do your job for you!....I'm lonely baby. Its bad enough that you do not want me to work  and I agreed. Now spend some time with me you won't!  Its getting frustrating it really is! "
   "I'm sorry baby!  Alright lets make a deal....I'll set up that business for you and in like two weeks tops,  i'll make out time for a trip. How does the Bahamas sound to you? "...... Deji smiled at her as he raised her chin.
  "The Bahamas sounds ok....and I'm making the arrangements not you!..... Chidaalu said trying hard to not to smile...."I love you nkem"
   " awwww....you know I get all  'mushy' when you call me sweet names in your dialect"...... Deji said as he slowly from behind planted soft kisses on her neck which  made her shiver.
Damn! he loved being with her when ever they just settled an argument.
 
"Major D I think these rebels should be taught a lesson now. they're beginning to make so much noise and no one is worried! "......
   "Samuel this guys are all bark and no bite....they have no armoury and besides the men upstairs have not given the Go to have them dealt with. ..so patience my friend".....Deji smiled at his friend.
  "Anyway thats by the way!  How is that our gorgeous wife?" ....

   "she is fine"
  
"You know for a man who just got knocked up for just a year,  you hardly spend enough time with her you know? Better grease machine before someone does for you o! "......Samuel said as he grinned from ear to ear.

   "I have heard!  Adviser in Chief!  You know ehn? ! sometimes I would have beaten the shit outta you for being so nosy. Thank your stars that I love you too much"....Ayodeji said as he made a fist at his friend.
  
1month Later
But you promised Deji!  What now happens to our trip to the Bahamas? !, I booked our flight already!
Baby work is way more hectic now. These rebels have started gaining ground.  I have been assigned to certain duties I can not neglect at the moment.  You of all people should understand that!
  What I understand is that you love your job more than you do me!  You pay so much attention to it than you would give to me!  I'm tired of being the nagging wife Deji!  Feels like I'm the only one who is trying here! We're just one year into this and it feels like we've been in this for over a century! 
  "Alright after this job I'll make it up to you". ... "I don't want any of your promises seeing how well you've kept the others!" "Its either we're doing it now or we are not! "
  "You know I can't Daalu. ..damn it!  Lets not make this an issue".....Deji said as he slammed the door and left for work.
  Sadly,  she loved him still...she loved this man who lately was beginning to make her cry more than she should and for all the wrong reasons. ...wiping her tears she went into the room and snuggled under the duvet.
    If only he'lld allow her get a job atleast....she thought.

Flickering through tv stations and finding nothing that picked her interest,  Chidaalu  switched the tv off and decided to go do some baking.  Atleast the aroma of freshly baked bread made her more relaxed.

  While working,  "Cannonball by kiesza" was put on replay....she didn't know why she got glued to that song lately. But then it helped her calm her nerves when ever she had gotten into an argument with Deji and so she liked it!
Just then,  it went off!   

           (((BOOOM)))))

the last thing she had on her mind was her husband!  Her Deji!

Panting heavily,  Ayodeji stopped running and rested his hands on his knees while he sucked in so much air like it was his last.
  He had run out of ammunition and had been running for close to an hour. Luckily for him,  he had not met any of the rebels on the road.
  Gathering enough strength,  he looked around to study his environment but everywhere seemed strange all the buildings had been razed to the ground.
Except for a signpost which didn't burn down,  he wouldn't have known he was on his street....
  If anyone had told him a day before that it was the last time he would have a peaceful night rest,  he would have waved it off. He  never thought those rebels were well equipped. But here he was,  tired,hungry and in a country that was now run by rebels..He had not eaten since he left home two days before.
  Anyway that wasn't his major problem,  all he wanted now was to stay alive and safe enough to go get his wife the woman he loved!
  Funny how they had been arguing that day....if only he didn't forget so easily,  he wouldn't have promised to stand in for Samuel and by now he would have been in the Bahamas with her.
  Finally getting to a place that used to be his home,  Ayodeji couldn't recognize a thing. Everywhere had been blown to bits. All he could salvage was a picture frame which had been partly burnt but still had the face of his wife.
  He groaned. ....

Every Moment Counts Show That Special Someone That You Care Always. Make It Count!
  
  

HOW DO I LET GO?

This is the 3rd time I'm writing my story but I've not been able to get the guts to make it public.  However, I now realize that I do need help cos I'm about to the something I would regret. My story is lengthy but i'll try my best to shorten it.

Ms Chidaa do publish my story but make me anonymous.

I met Adebayo(not real name) during my university years. I was only 19 in my 3rd year while he was 27. Bayo as I fondly call him is quiet and reserved person, generous, caring and very understanding. We started going out not too long after I met him. He always went out of his way to please me.
Adebayo is from a well to do family while I'm just from an average home. I however never thought our different social status would pose a problem, how wrong I was.

2years into our relationship,  he decided it was time his parents knew about me. Like every normal lady would act,  I was worried and excited. My worry however won as his mum didn't like me much for reasons I still do not know. 

 The relationship ended for a brief period which had its toll on me as I had gotten so used to the idea of the both of us being a pair. Soon afterwards, we made up largely due to my efforts( a move which I now regret)

 Although we got back together, the calls reduced, his attention became so divided and he hardly publicly referred to me as his special someone (not even on my birthdays). Even with all these signs, I still turned a blind eye while I believed things would change but it never did.

 I recieved the shock of my life 3days ago when I coincidentally found a stack of IV's at his house when I went visiting. My Bayo is getting married in 3weeks time, and as crazy as it sounds, he is getting married to my university roomy.

  I still dont understand how I was so blind that I never noticed. Right now my heart hurts like its being stabbed by the minute. I do not know where I would go from here. I have thought about taking my life and then again,  I have thought about hurting the both of them so bad!

   Why is love so cruel. Five years of my life is been flushed down the drain just like that!

   I really need advice on how to let go, how to make this bleeding heart heal someone help me!

Ms S

Inspired by a real life occurrence......advices would be gladly welcomed.

FINDING YOURSELF

Some days ago , I passed a wrong notion about my happiness being tied to  persons. Don't get me wrong! The individuals in question play huge roles in my life presently and hopefully always.
However, it was only this morning that I realised that the impression I gave was far from what I should have given. Why you ask? Its simple! You with Christ in the picture are the only authors of your happiness.
No one is powerful enough to make you laugh, smile, cry or angry if you do not give them the chance and power to! We're expected to open ourselves to people who are only committed to us and our advancement.

Consider the mating process of an eagle; the female specie plucks a twig and flies high up around the airspace of the male specie, it then proceeds to drop the twig. The interested male specie runs after the fallen twig which it retrieves and gives back to the female eagle. This process is repeated continuously until the eagle is convinced that she has the right one who is earnestly committed to mate with it.

Like wise, we're expected to be sure and mindful of who we put in the storybook of our lives cos they will always be talked about when our story comes up.
Decide not to seek for peoples approval. The only approval you should always seek for, is that of your creator. Always remember to retreat into seclusion to have not just your spiritual man reactivated but also your physical being.
Spend quality time with just you and your God. Pray more, study the word more and read more books to rejuvenate yourself ( mark 1:30-37).
People often believe one man can do only but little, but I say; "One man can do so much and anything!"
Eagles fly solo! I am an Eagle!

Happy New Year.

                            Creda.... XOXO